- You were into films before they were cool.
- You hate the fact that you secretly liked The Artist.
- Ladies: other people think you have bobbed hair, but you know it’s a shingle. Chaps: you know you could totally rock a moustache.
- You start a conversation about Harrison Ford, but you get confused when someone mentions Indiana Jones …
- You left Instagram when it ditched its square-pictures-only rule.
- People ask you what your favourite movie is and you say you’re sorry, but they’ve probably never heard of it.
- You only have a TV so you can watch your Criterions.
- You drink Mary Pickford cocktails out of a jam jar.
- Your favourite thing about the last silent film you watched? The intertitle font.
- When people tell you they haven’t seen a Colleen Moore picture you can’t even.
- Your favourite beer is G W Pabst Blue Ribbon.
- You love Douglas Fairbanks, but only ironically.
- When people ask who was the greatest silent comedian, “Keaton or Chaplin?”, you raise a disdainful eyebrow.
- You keep trying to make “talkies” a popular phrase among your friends.
- Any film made after 1916 is just too mainstream for you.
- You have a great vinyl collection, but it’s all Vitaphone.
- You can’t get into “Netflix and chill” because the silents selection is just so limited.