Colleen Moore

17 signs that you’re a silent film hipster

 

  1. You were into films before they were cool.
  2. You hate the fact that you secretly liked The Artist.
  3. Ladies: other people think you have bobbed hair, but you know it’s a shingle. Chaps: you know you could totally rock a moustache.
  4. You start a conversation about Harrison Ford, but you get confused when someone mentions Indiana Jones
  5. You left Instagram when it ditched its square-pictures-only rule.
  6. People ask you what your favourite movie is and you say you’re sorry, but they’ve probably never heard of it.
  7. You only have a TV so you can watch your Criterions.
  8. You drink Mary Pickford cocktails out of a jam jar.
  9. Your favourite thing about the last silent film you watched? The intertitle font.
  10. When people tell you they haven’t seen a Colleen Moore picture you can’t even.
  11. Your favourite beer is G W Pabst Blue Ribbon.
  12. You love Douglas Fairbanks, but only ironically.
  13. When people ask who was the greatest silent comedian, “Keaton or Chaplin?”, you raise a disdainful eyebrow.
  14. You keep trying to make “talkies” a popular phrase among your friends.
  15. Any film made after 1916 is just too mainstream for you.
  16. You have a great vinyl collection, but it’s all Vitaphone.
  17. You can’t get into “Netflix and chill” because the silents selection is just so limited.

Marion Davies

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9 thoughts on “17 signs that you’re a silent film hipster”

  1. You wonder whatever happened to that Gary Cooper kid who had the cameo in Wings…
    You insist on watching All Quiet on the Western Front with the mute on like God intended…
    Your favorite scene from Sunset Boulevard was the card game…
    Kevin Brownlow has a restraining order against you…

  2. “When people ask who was the greatest silent comedian, “Keaton or Chaplin?”, you raise a disdainful eyebrow”.

    The correct answer to that question is of course…. Mabel Normand.

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